Farm Day 2: How to Squeeze a Boob

By Perrin

Sarah and the goat share a moment

This is for those who did not round second base in middle school.

Every morning, once we finish with the 14 stallions, we milk the female goat. Just one goat.

This is an example of how one woman can be more trouble than 14 men. Milking Lady Goat, who will remain anonymous, is a lesson in anger management. The girl must be tied to a wall by both her neck and her waist. This doesn’t prevent her from abusing the milk bowl by kicking or defecating in it, but it does reduce the chance that she’ll abuse us.

One fine morning I was thrilled to have squeezed out a nearly full bowl of milk that was dotted with only a moderate sprinkling of black fur and feces. You couldn’t eat it with cereal, but the sight of it wouldn’t make you gag. Progress!

Mäns  steadying my opponent in Round One

But Lady Goat would not be had. When I reached to untie the neck, the goat bit me squarely in the nipple. “Whore!” I swore, but considering that I had just pinched Lady Goat’s nipples for twenty minutes, I rephrased: “Touché.”

The bitch fight continues. May the best girl win

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About sistersbailey

We are Perrin and Sarah Bailey, collectively known as “The Sisters Bailey”. The moniker was born out of a crazy weekend at the 2009 New Orleans Jazz Fest and it was the first time we had ever been referred to as one unit. We grew up in Alexandria, VA together and then separated for college - Perrin to The University of Pennsylvania and Sarah to Northwestern University – and somehow landed together in New York after graduation. It was in the midst of the hustle of Manhattan that we became friends for the first time in years. Somehow we landed jobs in the same industry - Sarah worked in marketing at HBO and Perrin managed creative digital promotions for her media agency’s main client, Disney - just three blocks from one another. One day we decided to leave our jobs, sell our belongings and travel abroad with a backpack and a collective savings of $10K. The stories of our continuing adventures and those of other fearless travelers are here to inspire you.
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2 Responses to Farm Day 2: How to Squeeze a Boob

  1. Andy says:

    I feel I should have been consulted for this article.

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